**Friday Funny For You**
We were reading the story of the Three Little Pigs in class today. When we got to the part about the Pig building his house out of straw, a little boy says, "Well. He's definitely not the BRAINS of the family. BUT he is the best BUILDER of the family." Students looked at him and said, "What??" He replied, "Well. Have YOU ever tried to build anything with straw? This pig has two doors and two windows!"
**Vocabulary story**
Today we were talking about the word voracious. I was teaching the student how important it is to be THAT kind of reader. A little boy said, "That word SOUNDS like ferocious." Another little boy pops up and says, "OH. I get it! Ferocious like when a cheetah attacks a gazelle!!"
HAHA. Yes. I think they get the connection. Kids should attack books like cheetahs attack gazelles. Call it what you want... voracious or ferocious. I'll take either one. Love these kids.
***PHONE FUNNINESS***
As one of our classroom jobs, we have a phone person to answer phone calls that come into the classroom. The students often say something like, "Hello. This is Mrs. Comstock's room. How can I help you?" We were in the middle of our apple projects and the phone rang. My diligent phone helper picked up the phone and said her words and had a really funny look on her face. She fervently waved me over and said, "I think it's the Schwan's man!" (LOL)
Turns out... it was our principal, Mr. Fossum.
We had a little friend during show and tell who brought in an ape (stuffed animal) which was PERFECT for our sound of long a. He even told us a very appropriate scientific fact that monkeys have tails and apes do NOT. During that explanation, a little boy (who was passing the crackers) stopped dead in his tracks and said, (with an entirely serious face) "OH. So, you mean... (slight pause)... apes are like FEMALES." And then he carried on passing the crackers and the day went on as normal. Well, as normal as a K/1 day can get. :)
Total randomness… “Sometimes you can have hair on your back and on your chest. Oh. And also, you can have wild asparagus.”
We were talking about needs and wants yesterday in Social Studies. We defined needs as something that you need to stay alive and wants as things that are fun to have, but not necessary for survival.
We were looking through magazines to find pictures to categorize into wants and needs and a little boy came up to me with a Huggies Diapers ad/picture. He said, "Mrs. Comstock, what do you think about this?" I (of course) said, "What do YOU think about it?" He was about to answer when another little boy came over and said (stone faced serious), "I think they're needs because without them germs would spread and that smell. Well, THAT can kill you!"
A few years ago, I worked with a little boy in first grade who was very bright, but did not like to write. Writing ONE sentence during writing time was a stretch even though he was very able to write and had great ideas. Well, the year ended. Three weeks into the summer, I received a letter in the mail. It was a child addressed, puffy, stuffed envelope and in adorable first grade printing it had my name and address on the front of it. Inside the envelope was a beautifully written, one page, thank you note from this same little boy who chose not to write anything the whole school year. (It was very, very touching as a teacher to read this letter.) After reading the letter, I looked further into the envelope to find a pink pig refrigerator magnet with the word “DIET” on the pig. Knowing the child as well as I did, I cracked up laughing. Later on that summer, I saw this little boy’s mom at a baseball game. She apologized and said that she was unaware that the pig magnet was in the envelope. In fact, she asked him on the way up north camping what he had put into the envelope to me. He replied, “You know, mom, the pig magnet with the letters D-I-E-T on it?”
Children are so delightful!!
I was sitting next to a wiggly, jumpy little boy while he was taking the STAR test on the computer. All of a sudden he screamed out what I thought was a swear word. I turned his head toward mine and said, “What did you say?” He hopped out of his chair and said, “SHIFT!! I hit the shift key NOT enter!” J
I was reading a book aloud to my First Graders and the word diary came up. Of course I asked, “Do you know what a diary is?” A little girl raised her hand and said, “It’s a book you can write special things in.” A little boy with an incredulous look on his face in a loud voice replied, “NO!! No it isn’t! It’s what happens when you eat too many chips!!!”
A little boy sprinted across my classroom then slid across the carpet as one would slide into home plate. As he slid, he yelled a loud swear word and screamed, “Whoa! I was goin’ fast!” I stood up, rather caught off guard and said, “You cannot say that word in here. You have to say nice words in here.” The little boy looked at me and said, “Well, Mrs. Comstock. Did ya see how fast I was goin’? I could not THINK of any NICE words!”
A little girl coughed and said, “A few days ago I chewed on some plastic that was poison and now kids shouldn’ t go by me ‘cause I’m sick.” “What kind of sick are you?” I asked. “Well, I DO have a bad cough.”
I was walking around my students seeing if they were all getting their work done.
First Grade girl, “Why’re you standing there??”
Me, “What would you like me to do?”
First Grade girl, “GO WORK!!”
(Umm… I thought I was!!)
We had been studying natural resources and ways of caring about them. The unit test came along and a test question was: How do you use air? I was giving this part of the test orally and the little girl answering was taking an especially long time to answer. I walked to my desk to get something for another student, came back, and I said again, “Okay. How do you use air?” The little girl said, “Eh… ergh...umm… try not to breathe so much???” (She thought I was asking her how to save air.) I could not resist sharing that “laugh out loud” moment.
Pets came up in a conversation while discussing needs and wants in Social Studies. We were in agreement that pets were a want unless you needed one for a physical reason: being blind, etc. A little girl said, "YEAH!! Like if I were lost in a desert, I would DEFINITELY NEED a llama!!"
At school, just walked into the hallway, 9:00 a.m. First Grade girl says, "Hmmmm... it smells like chicken fajitas out here. You know, not the slimy ones, just the regular ones!" On the menu for that day? Meatballs/gravy over potatoes.
First Grade girl in relationship drama... "I TOLD him I was only going to love him from the one-hundred-thirteenth day 'til the one-hundred-sixteenth day. Now I am DONE!"
1st Grade Boy, shrugs shoulders, "I know it don't make no sense, but I just wanna do it anyway."
Random statement in the middle of math. "He caws me twiddo dee. I caw him fishhead." 1st Grade Boy
First Grade Boy taking a spelling test: "Could'ja just TELL me???"
First Grade boy trying to explain that his "mama cat" is going to have a new batch of kittens: "Mrs. Comstock! Her's ginna lay another patch!!!"
First Grade boy singing "This Old Man". This old man, he played one, he played knick knack on my thumb with a knick waddy waddy packet give your dog a bone."
1st Grade Lunch Conversation about chasing at recess.
Boy: ANYONE can beat HER!
Mrs. Comstock: Ummm... that is not nice to say. That could hurt her feelings.
Boy: Ah, yeah...well, Mrs. Comstock, we're gonna keep it a secret from her for as LONG as we can. Okay??
"Don't worry, Mrs. Comstock, if I ever see a stranger I will just kick him in the Menards. NO! I mean Benards!"
First Grade Boy
While polka dot painting, a 4 year old boy yells,"Comstunk!!! I'm makin' polk-a-nuts!!!"
First Grader, "I need a cough drop."
Me, "Why?"
First Grader, "UGH! Because I have to burn the CRAP out of the thing that is in my throat!"
A first grade girl brought a baby picture of herself for show and tell. Another little girl asked, “Did you like yourself when you were a baby?” The girl with the picture rolled her eyes and said, “Uh… I didn’t even KNOW myself!”
First Grade girl says, “I TRIED to braid my pony’s hair on her tail to make it curly, but it just woke up with three chunks.”
Before 8:00 a.m., two very wide eyed first grade girls came to the classroom and said, “Ummm… Mrs. Comstock?? Dr. Hauck is out there by the buses chasing a Chihuahua and throwing rocks at it!”
It was choice week for show and tell. The children usually bring in a favorite toy to share. A little girl came to the front of the room carrying a Kleenex box covered with paper and streamers of recycled weekly readers. She said, “This is my robot!!” A little boy said (with a crooked face), “Ummm… That really doesn’t look like a robot to me.” I was so worried that would crush her and then she pulled out a roll of tape from the Kleenex box robot and said, “THAT is why I brought tape to tape it back together!!”
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